Me: Taya, I am completely onboard with you. You are, in fact, the fantasy girl I've been looking for. Now, as for our fantasy…When you walk into my office for an interview for my assistant position, my heart starts beating and I begin to shake. It's a feeling I get only once every year or two, when I see a girl so dreamy and so right for me--or so right for my needs--that in my mind I want to say please marry me."Hi," I say. "I'm Dave." Taya."I talk with you for 10 minutes, but in my mind our voices sound like the parents of Peanuts characters. My mind feverishly conjurs up a devious plan."Taya, I like your qualifications, and I want to make you an unorthodox proposal." Oh, okay." I'd like you to work Monday through Friday as Assistant Project Manager, which pays $36,000 a year. And I'd like you to come on Saturdays as my personal assistant. That also pays $36,000 a year."I look deeply into your eyes, trying to gauge your reaction while simultaneously making my intention clearly known. ‘But…what will you do to me?’ ‘I daresay I will give you a little taste of what you deserve, and hope that it will prove sufficient to teach you a lesson you sorely need. Had any man in my crew pulled the stunt you did, Kitty, he would not be alive to tell the tale. I need you to know that it is only your sex that spares you this fate, my dear. I am not a man to be trifled with.’ ‘I know, Sir,’ she said humbly. ‘Clearly you do not, Kitty, for you have done rather more than trifle with me, and you are about to pay the price for your ignorance. Now do you have anything to say to me?’ ‘I…am truly sorry, Sir. I deeply regret my actions.’ ‘Not as much as you are going to. Well then. I’ll have you over my knee to start off with, I think.’ Kitty made what seemed like the longest walk of her life over to the Captain’s chair and placed herself without complaint across the Captain’s hard muscled lap. Without benefit of any warm-up, he reached for the hairbrush and laid straight in, emblazoning.
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